1- A man walks into a petshop named “skilled puppies”.
The clerk shows him around;
– We’ve got this excellent malterser, great for kids, he is trained to help them with their homework, win races and tidy the bedroom.
Then we’ve got this cute Yorkshire Terrier who is a gourmet and can help you better your cooking skills.
– Not for me, the customer says.
– We also have this great labrador, he can drive your stunning wife to the mall in your corvette and help her choose nice garments.
– Okay, I’ll take it! How much is it, please?
– Two hundred dollars. Thanks. Here you are Sir, packed and ready!
– Wait a minute… where’s the corvette and my stunning new wife?
2- A young teenager is stopped by Police for not wearing a Mask, for the third time.
– This is the third time we fine you, young man. Can you explain your behavior?
– Sure I can! If you keep fining me I won’t have any cash to buy some masks!!!
3- A young boy who is achieving great grades keeps asking his mum for cash to buy Bitcoins.
The mother dreams his son hits the millions, for his teacher has told her he’s a genius.
She has mentioned to all of her friends about her plans to buy a villa in Costa Rica and retire there early.
But on Christmas Eve she finds a bag of chocolate dices under her genius son’s bed.
– What are these, honey? I told you many times that chocolate rots your teeth..
– They’re my Bitcoins!!!
4- A man sitting at the airport is approached by a young hippy.
– Please, Sir, could you lend me 1000 Dollars for a ticket to Sydney? You see, my girlfriend said she will dump me if I go one more day without visiting her, and she’s the love of my life…
Since the passenger’s loaded wish money, he doesn’t mind lending this young hippy the cash.
– Here you are young fellow, I hope it all goes well with your lady…
– Thanks! Can I also borrow 400 Dollars to bring back some souvenirs to my mum- who can’t stand my girlfriend?
5- Mum, I am going out with a real policewoman, I’m so excited!
– Ummm, Johnny, how do you know she’s a real policewoman, and not a con?
– Well, she tased me twenty times after I failed to satisfy her in bed…
6- An obese woman comes back from Jamaica appearing to have lost 20 Ibs.
– How did you acheive this, girl? Asks her best friend.
– Easy! Every time I asked the dealer for slimming pills, he started to run 3 miles, and after chasing him for 20 days all my clothes were dropping off!
That’s all for today, friends!
Thanks for sharing…